I've been in my job a whole year. Wow!

Okay so this week marks an entire year in my job and I can't believe it, it's gone so quickly.

I'm at the end of my second 'official' rotation in urgent care and about to rotate into trauma and orthopaedics which is exciting. I'm really looking forward to it as I feel it completes my band 5 basic skill set, as I've never worked in T & O even as a student.

I've been so lucky in my first year; I've been given the opportunities to experience a variety of clinical areas and work with, and learn from lots of fantastic and dedicated professionals. I really feel I have grown as a therapist and am happy with the progress I have achieved.

So looking forward to the future I am aiming to consolidate my current skills, take on more service development roles, mentoring a more junior band 5 and supervising a lower band colleague. I will become competent in and run my own hand therapy clinics.
 Additionally I will be looking to do student supervisory training, take on more responsibilities and be looking for opportunities to experience some of the 'management' tasks of a band 6.

I am incredibly happy and proud what I have achieved over the past 4 years. I love my job and wouldn't change it for the world. But this point marks a new chapter in my life and therefore I don't plan to blog anymore, however I will leave my blog 'live' and will continue to respond to emails about my journey.
Thank you to those who have consistently read my blog since 2010.

Lucie xx

April

I cannot believe it's already mid April; 3 months have passed since my last post. Things are very much the same, still loving my job. Still finding it hard to find time to post. On the plus side it's sunnier and my garden is looking pretty!!

I've been reflecting on the change I have seen in myself throughout my 'journey' following several comments from friends and family. Some attributes I feel I have gained, or developed wholly as a person, and some I feel are more dominant at work.

When I am 'work' me, I am very much myself, just with a little more restraint, not much else changes about me. On a daily basis I put myself in situations outside of my comfort zone, as per the description of my job - I have to approach people, make telephone calls and be decisive; things which I find lacking in my 'home' me. In fact decisiveness, on my lack of at home is the main reason Ben and I bicker.
I have never been brilliant with words, and tend to 'say it how it is' so to speak, but I am increasingly able to be articulate and concise in communication at work. Although I still find myself saying such things as 'mrs lady in bed...over there' and using gestures to describe things when I am unable to find the word - these happen less frequently now, but they are typical 'lucieisms'.

In general I feel I am more balanced, I have occupational balance. I am in flow. And I am enjoying being able to use all the words and phrases I learned at uni to describe myself :p. Throughout my life, I have never been described as confident, all my school reports stated that I lacked it. But I feel confident now, I feel I am competent and capable to do my job, and it's a great feeling.

I plan to post a final post around the date I will have been working for a year as a qualified OT, and will continue to monitor my blog and reply to the messages I receive. I may even add additional posts now and again, but I certainly plan to keep the blog live, as I enjoy being able to document my personal and professional progress.

xx

If my career as an OT fails, I can always become a mystic

As in mystic Lucie Meg...


In June I updated the left hand column of my blog to read

"From then on? Who knows.

Although it will probably involve trying to make a new home for myself,

 building flat-pack furniture, collecting household items from various places,

 scouring charity shops and car boots, decorating, exploring, meeting new 

people, a preceptorship, cats, OT, medical conditions, weekends in Canterbury,

 Northamptonshire, being a proper OT, working, being an official adult..."

I have achieved all of the above. Tick!! ✓

I have a home, a lovely little house I rent with my boyfriend and cat; I've become pretty great at flat pack furniture, I have enough furniture now that it is impossible to fit my entire life into my pug 107.  I have made new friends, and explored my new area. I'm half way through my preceptorship, and been to Canterbury twice. I am a proper OT and am officially an adult. 

I am content as a proverbial 'content thing'!

xx

How so much can change in year

This time last year I was an OT student on my last placement in London. Working in a community paediatric setting, completely out of my comfort zone and absolutely loving it. Celebrating my 21st in Oxford, London and the Isle of Wight. I was in awe of the amazing therapists I was working with, aspiring to be as good as them at that point in my career. The idea of having a job and actually being an OT felt like it was ages away...

Oh my gosh, how time flies!! Fast forward a year, and here I am, nearly 4 months into my first post as an OT. Working in an acute setting in medicine - and yes, still loving it.
I've gone from living in hospital accommodation with a series of weird flatmates, to moving in with my boyfriend and gaining a furry baby (our kitten, Ted). My hour commute (both from Essex to E London and Cotswolds to Oxford) has been replaced by a Seven and a half minute drive to work! And my dream of being an OT working in a physical setting and putting into practice all I have learnt and experienced in the past 3 years has become a reality.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me over the past 3 years xxx

Being flexible; it's in my job description.

Reflecting on my day I realised that flexibility is essential when working in an acute setting such as the one I am in. Today I did boardround (a multidiciplinary meeting to discuss medical status and discharge planning needs) on a ward I have never been on, to cover for a colleague, 5 minutes after being asked to do so. Seeing patients with conditions that are not my 'norm'; in a layout that is completely alien and maze like to me. Head back to my ward, the band 3 who is usual on my ward was required to assist another OT with my priority work, and asked to pick up a patient on an outlying ward. All of which is 'outside' my usual working patterns.

Having an insight to the success, and limitations of your practice is also key.

Being flexible ensures that I can see every patient as an individual, which is key to working in a client centred way. Understanding that an individual is more than just the person, but the occupation and the environment too. Working with all sorts of different people with varying backgrounds, cultures and values means that I need to ensure I match my therapeutic strategies to work with the patient, sometimes encountering barriers to my practice and being required to roll with resistance to ensure the patient's needs are met. To do this I need to be flexible in the approaches and techniques used.

The British Psychological Society says flexibility is being “able to be easily modified to respond to altered circumstances or conditions” and that flexibility is linked to insight – another trait that many OTs are blessed with.

Would you consider yourself to be “flexible”? and what does that mean to you? Being flexible is literally in my job description. And it is a trait I believe most if not all OTs possess in one way or another.

I love routine and structure, and my entire life revolves around lists and planning sheets and in my personal life once I have an idea in my head I am very fixed on it, I like to achieve it and do it how I had planned, if a spanner is thrown into the works, I feel very much out of sorts. I like to know where I am with things. However when I have my 'OT head' on it's a whole different kettle of fish. Strange, I know, but it's these little idiosyncrasies that make us individual and unique.

xx

I'm finished.

Yesterday I finished university. 4:01pm I finished my exam and en mass we headed to the pub. We had a drink and said goodbye to our classmates as we aren't going to the OT party and headed into town for dinner.

We watched Seth Lakeman at town hall, which was an amazing way to end the three years. The gig was fantastic despite the weird awkward moment I had when I literally bumped into him and was unable to say anything, I just stared, open mouthed and embarrassed as he spoke to me. I love him. :(

Today Katie and I went for a celebratory lunch as we couldn't go to the party, which was lovely!

I don't think it has sunk in yet.

xx

The exam

The two case studies that came up I was happy with - although I didn't particularly have a preference I felt fully prepared for the all. I was able to write out a plan and that way I ensured I wrote every point I wished to, and in a logical and coherent order. I was able to remember, link to and explain using my clinical reasoning the studies, polices and laws I wanted to, and even managed to throw in a few other bits and bobs I managed to pull from some corner of my mind!! I wrote solidly for 50 minutes for each case study, giving myself 5 minutes for planning and 5 minutes for reading and editing at the end of each one.

I know it won't be the best thing I have ever written, but I addressed the question and included all required aspects. Some people ran out of time (I don't understand how) and some people went into huge detail about some areas of the process and neglected other parts such as the intervention... but I personally found that it wasn't too difficult, and I'm sure I will have passed.

I cannot explain the feeling when I was sat there and the invigilators were collecting the papers - I had finished and it was as if a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders. Amazing!!!

xx

Use of Social Media in Continuing Professional Development (CPD)

The use of social media has, in recent years, received lots of bad press such as ‘social gatherings’ being turned into ‘British versions of Project X’, or the youth police commissioner’s slightly unsavoury opinions being aired very publicly. It has also been used with good intention, for example people attempting to identify ‘suspects’ in the Boston bombings. Many people have concerns about privacy and how easily accessible personal information can be accessed, however Social Media sites such as Facebook and Twitter can have many benefits if used wisely.

It is not designed to replace real life, but to augment it, giving individuals access to a wider community and with it, a far greater knowledge and opinion base. It can be used to keep in touch with old friends, to play a part within a community, engage in discussion, further explore topics and it gives people an understanding of ‘online etiquette’.

In terms of an Occupational therapy presence on social media sites all the well-known bodies are to be found, The COT/BAOT has both Facebook and twitter, as does the CAOT, AOTA and HCPC. The CAOT also has a blog! It is very easy to find Occupational Therapists on both Facebook and Twitter, and there are many that blog too!!

There is published guidance on the use of social media for Occupational Therapists published by the College Of Occupational Therapists (COT) and generic APC guidance from the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC).

In the Governments response (Patients first and foremost) to the Mid Staffs Inquiry and the resulting Francis Report, acknowledged the efforts of “cross-profession Twitter chats between AHP groups such as the occupational therapists (#OTalk) and nursing groups such as #WeNurses” p31. As I have previously mentioned, OTs are using the hash tag #OTalk to engage in a weekly chat on a particular topic. I had read these chats eagerly for a while before participating in one on 2^nd April about the transition from Student to Practitioner.

After participating in this chat I wrote a reflection on it (see later in post), and was able to reflect on the idea of using social media participation as a continuing professional development (CPD) activity. The COT and HCPC give clear guidance on what is expected of an Occupational Therapist in terms of CPD.

5.4 “You are personally responsible for actively

maintaining and continuing your professional

development and competence, and for participating

in learning opportunities over and above those which

are legally required for your work. You must maintain

your continuing professional development (CPD) to

meet the standards of proficiency for registration

with the Health Professions Council.” -COT.

Reflecting on talking part in #OTalk.

What happened?
Two things – firstly I was able to participate in an informal CPD activity and secondly I had the opportunity to discuss the transitional period from student to practitioner with people who had either already experienced it, or were in the same position as me and were nervous about that transition. I had often ‘lurked’ but never actively participated, but was made to feel welcomed, and contributed to the discussions.

Thinking and feeling?
I was a bit nervous, as I didn't want to get the ‘netiquette’ wrong, and felt like someone may find my questions silly, but at the same time I felt empowered – I had the opportunity to discuss and share things from OTs from many different areas, both practice areas and geographical. It was a little surreal that I was conversing with so many OTs in a very public domain, yet it was so informal. I felt comforted by some of the points raised, as they were concerned I shared, and the coping strategies and advice given were reassuring. It was nice to hear other OTs who are now experienced and in practice had felt how I am currently feeling.  The main point that stuck me was when it was said that it is important to be realistic and not to expect too much from yourself.

Evaluation – Positive or negative?
It was a very positive experience. I was able to increase my knowledge base, and network with people in the same profession, in a very unique way. It is something that I have recommended to other of my course, as I found it beneficial.

Analysis – Make sense of the situation
I was able to increase my communication skills in a very different way; it was the use of an informal social networking platform, yet I was still required to get my point across in a clear and concise way. 140 characters is very little.  I felt reassured, and welcomed into a professional community that has a large presence on social media sites. It allowed me to reflect on my own skills and strategies and take on board advice and suggestions.

Conclusion –Could I have done anything else?
I need to make a conscious effort to participate more – due to work load pressures at the moment I am not really finding the time. But I suppose that’s a smart goal I can write for myself…
 

 ________________________________________________________________________

‘British Project X’ -
 http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/project-x-of-essex-800-gatecrashers-cause-30000-damage-after-schoolgirl-advertises-house-party-on-facebook-8399566.html

Youth Commissioner -
https://www.kent-pcc.gov.uk/kentpcc-news/paris-brown-steps-down.html

Privacy on social media sites -
http://stlr.stanford.edu/pdf/determann-socialmediaprivacy.pdf
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323551004578436713224083592.html
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/apr/04/britain-opt-out-right-to-be-forgotten-law

Use of social media to identify Boston bombing suspects, the intention was good…- http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/apr/19/boston-bombing-suspects-reddit-social-media
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-22214511

COT/BAOT –
http://www.cot.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/baotcot
@baotcot

CAOT-
@CAOT_ACE
http://voicesofcaot.blogspot.com/

AOTA-
@AOTAInc

HCPC-
https://www.facebook.com/hcpcuk
@The_HCPC

Occupational Therapy blogs -
http://www.lindasdailylivingskills.com/2012/05/super-long-list-of-all-ot-blogs-i-know.html

Guidance on the use of Social Media-
http://www.hcpc-uk.org/Assets/documents/100035B7Social_media_guidance.pdf
http://www.cot.co.uk/sites/default/files/corporate_documents/public/social-media-guidance.doc

Patients first and foremost-
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/170701/Patients_First_and_Foremost.pdf

#OTalk -
http://otalkocchats.wordpress.com/2013/04/03/otalk-grabchat-transition-from-student-to-practitioner-2-april-2013/

CPD requirements-
http://www.cot.co.uk/sites/default/files/publications/public/Code-of-Ethics2010.pdf
http://www.hpc-uk.org/assets/documents/10000512Standards_of_Proficiency_Occupational_Therapists.pdf

Reflection cycle-
http://www.brookes.ac.uk/services/upgrade/a-z/reflective_gibbs.html

Job interview

Ok, so as promised....

My interview was on Wednesday so on the Tuesday night I drove up to stay with Kim. The drive up was fun, lots of Michael Jackson playing on the radio that day, and apart from the minor mishap when a lorry cut across 3 lanes and I saw my life flash before me whilst on the M6, it was a nice drive.

I had done a fair bit of prep; I knew about the hospital and the initiatives there and had some idea about the structure of the team. I also reread key policy and legislation and made sure I got my head around the changes due to take place on April 1st, as well as key guidance linked to the area of practice. I also trawled recuitment sites and found the 'typically asked interview questions' in order to prepare answers for those, in case I got tongue tied or my mind went blank, and finally I thought of some questions to ask the interviewers that weren't the usual clichés.  The day before I reread all of that, and got my self into the right frame of mind: Positive thinking. I had a quick inspirational chat with myself in the mirror, affirming that I was ready for the interview, I knew my stuff and I am a capable and passionate OT. Then I went out for dinner!!

During dinner we chatted about the NHS and bits and pieces and I was given advice on interview questions, how to answer etc and it really put my mind at ease.

In the morning, as per usual, cue outfit change. But thankfully I was with someone who has an abundance of beautiful and smart dresses...so it wasn't an issue.

My satnav decided to take me a different way to the hospital than I had planned, which threw me but it was an adventure, 'Jane' got me there safely, it was fine.

I was early. I like being early. I handed in my IDs for photocopying and waited. I reread my notes and had an idea of what was in my portfolio and double checked all of that against the job description. 

"Breathe, just remember to breathe"

That was the best advice I was given. 

I had been told to plan for being there 9-5.  The interviewers came down and explained how the day was going to work. Firstly, in the morning, there was the tasks. I was verbally presented case studies and asked how I would respond, there was 3 questions; and I was give an 'article' and had 4 questions on that. Pretty standard stuff, and wasn't too difficult. After all the candidates had completed the tasks, individual feedback was given. I scored 4/4 on the article and 7/11 on the case study (I sneaked a peak at the notes when the feedback was being given).  On the day there was 5 candidates, 2 had not arrived, and it was the second day of interviews. In total I think about 15 were short listed  there was 2 posts. After lunch we were told if we were successful and had progressed onto the panel interview.

At this point, I was happy if I went home, it had been a very positive experience, and would prepare me for future interviews well. 4/5 people went on to the panel interview.

The panel interview was 30 mins long. There were three interviewers; two specialist OTs and the Head of therapy. Each asked 3 questions. I was confident with the answers for 8 of them, and fluffed up answering 1 of them. At the end I asked my questions and had a discussion about some topics that arose from my questions, thanked them and left. By this point I was feeling very happy and positive. I had learned a lot about my self in terms of how I cope in stressful situations, about the types of questions, and I realised that on the spur of the moment all sorts of information I didn't know I knew popped into my head.

I paid my massive car parking charge and drove back to the cotswolds. The first song on the radio as I left the hospital? MJ - Man in the mirror. As Katie always says 'make that change'... It felt like I was on the way to doing so. Reflecting on the day during the drive I realised that this was one of the moments I had been waiting for the past 3 years.

I got home to be greeted with lovely lemon muffins made by Katie, and I hadn't even had the chance to have a cup of tea before I got a phonecall - I got the job!

It's strange, I haven't finished the course, qualified or graduated yet, but I have a job. Awesome!!!


xx

News...

I had my interview today.














I got me a job!



Woop!!!

Will post more on the details of the day another time

xx

Nervous.

My first OT interview tomorrow. Eeek!

xx

Nervous.

My first OT interview tomorrow. Eeek!

xx

Brain ache.

4 hours of my life have been wasted spent editing and formatting two chapters of the dissertation.

Yes being able to critically appraise literature will be of much use in determining whether my practice should change based on the current and most up to date evidence... yes having good literature (database) searching skills will help me to stay up to date with evidence...yes the practice of writing 9000 words will put me in good stead for report writing...utilising the research methods I learnt about last year has helped understand the methods, which may be of use if conducting research in practice....
BUT...
Why is so much weight placed on academic writing and not practical skills in terms of marking, because I could be great at writing essays or exams, but be an awful therapist, yet I will (apparently) have achieved the correct proficiency levels for me to graduate and register for my ability to practice autonomously.

#brainache.

xx

A week in the life of a final year OT student.

Monday- Thursday:

This week I had to attend a 3 day, conference style module called Partnerships. It is a module that builds upon partnerships 1 & 2 that were attended in first and second year. It is a multidisciplinary module attended by OTs. PTs, nurses, & osteos, with the intention being “to prepare students for working in partnership within diverse teams/agencies and across professional and organisational boundaries on graduation, including evaluation of their professional profile and continuing professional development strategies”.

The conference had three key themes: leadership; management of change; management of

quality. Each day of the conference presents a lecture and workshops focused to each theme respectively. The theme of interdisciplinary learning (collaboration and partnership working) continues through all three days of the conference. There was a fair bit of pre reading and pre session work to be completed prior to attending.

On arrival I was really dreading it because previous years have proven to be dry and quite boring. The lecturers were long, and although they contained useful information, it was information that we could have gained for reading the slides prior to the seminar, or given chapters to read so it all felt pointless.

Trying to not be negative about the fact that we left the house at 7:15 and sat in traffic to be there, I arrived to my seminar group open minded. Within the first 5 minutes I learnt 3 things. 1. The nurses hadn't done the work (again, I worked in a group with 4 nurses last year); 2. The osteo didn't have a clue what was going on and it didn't appear that applicable to him; 3 No one was interested in doing the work and talked about their 'sick nights out'. On the first day the pre work was linked to the seminar content, but only on the first day. The days seemed pointlessly stretched out, as if they were trying to meet some teaching hours requirement, and all the groups finished early, and at different times. On the final day my seminar leader even said that she thought it was repetitive and pointless :-/

The idea behind it was good, and the themes and ideas discussed will be of much use further on in my career, however, due to the delivery method of the week, most of it has gone in one ear and out the other. I did pick up useful ideas about leadership and quality management, and plan to read more on this as and when I have the time.

The assessment we've been given is helpful and does apply to the job hunting process people are currently, or will soon be engaging in. But considering the amount of knowledge we've gained, and the themes of the topic, compared to the time taken to 'teach' it and the time that feels wasted and the amount of other work I have to be done, the whole week does feel sort of pointless. I feel that if delivered differently it would have far more impact.

Friday:

Ahhh, Friday, my favourite day of the week.

We had a passionate lecture on Ethics, by the fantastic Jenny Butler, which was both interesting and insightful. It was both reaffirming things we all (should) know by now about HCPC registration, ethics and personal integrity, but it also covered other topics such as research ethics (non-maleficence, beneficence, justice & autonomy) which was a helpful reminder as these are elements covered by my research proposal.

The seminar we had covered prioritisation, which is an important skill and part of clinical reasoning. However, we were assigned a task to complete (taken verbatim from a band 5 job interview, which involved reading case studies and prioritising on an acute ward – Very useful & though provoking!) IN PREPARATION FOR THE SEMINAR, when we got there we were expected to do that task?! Someone hadn't planned that very well, so once again it felt a waste of time!

I then had a meeting with my dissertation supervisor, which was very positive, I received good constructive advise and left the meeting feeling capable and happy to continue on and submit another chapter by Monday. I plan to have all the chapters completed by the 12^th March, and to be ready to submit by the 19^th, allowing for contingency time as the final hand in date is the 22^nd at 12 mid day.

Almost there...

xx  

OT social networking

Twitter, tumblr, facebook, blogs, it's great how much is out there.

I saw this here and had to copy.

When you hear a 

coversation that 

is OT related....

xx

My new favourite occupation.

My new favourite occupation, that is meaningful to me is creeping out Katie; intensively staring at her until we make eye contact and watching the face she pulls, and jumping out from places and making her squeal like a little girl.

It is hilarious. She can't help but laugh.

#OThumour. #Creepy

xx

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I have taken a week off disseration writing, due to waiting for feedback from my supervisor. I got very helpful feedback from K + M too! I was told that my supervisor needed a week...I gave it a week, sent a polite question as to when to expect me feedback and was told that it was my job to remind her... Not too sure about that one?! And that I would get the feedback later that day (yesterday). Well I didn't, and spent the entire evening stressing! Lunch time today, she got back to me. Better late than never!

The feedback was mainly positive. With advice on my writing style and where I could could add weight to my points, there was nothing majorly wrong with the content- thankfully!!!! So today I will spend synthesising all the feedback I have received, before continuing on with my methodology (which I managed to write 200 words in 2 hours, *cries* ).

Spending an entire Saturday getting to grips with this beast. Fun, fun, fun... My normal motivator of buying something nice has faltered due to lack of disposable income... so I will just have to remind myself of how hard I have worked for nearly 5 years since deciding I wanted to become an OT, and how I cannot let myself down at such a late stage within the course.

4 assessments to go. D-Day (dissertation hand in day) is 22nd March. I hope to have mine in a good few days before this. Then I get a 2 week break for Easter during which I will complete my Partnerships work - which I have made a start on due to the fact I have already filled out an application and to do so had to decontruct the job spec, which is part of the assignment! Then I have a presentation to give in a 'conference style' two days, following specialist workshops, and FINALLY my exam. My LAST exam. Which sounds horrific I must admit.

But I will pass, I will graduate and I will, eventually be a fully qualified, hcpc registered Occupational Therapist. Wow!

xx

I love Sunday mornings

I get to have a lay in, I get up, have breakfast and coffee with Katie, casually do zumba for 30 minutes in our lounge... It's pretty awesome.

I submitted the first 3 chapters of my dissertation for feedback on Friday, so until I receive the feedback I am taking a break from it for a few days. I am trying to get all my post and prep  work done over the weekend for the week ahead, leaving me time in the evenings for dissertation and post work. Or going swimming.

I'm trying to ensure that I get occupational balance in these last few months because it has already become stressful with us all feeling that there aren't enough hours in the day. So for me that means ensuring I get time to vent and reflect with the girls (usually on the drive home everyday), spending time catching up with people (by phone or skype), going for a swim, doing an exercise video, going jogging or cooking. I don't want OT and the dissertation to take over my life.

We've been told we need to start applying for jobs soon... Which is a scary thought!! I've joined NHS jobs, and have been looking at local government jobs too. It feels weird as for 3 years all I've wanted to do was just hurry up and be an OT and now I'm soon to no longer be a baby OT it scares me.

On a completely different subject, I made parsnip soup yesterday with the vegetables Suzanne grew in her allotment. It's yummy!!!!

xx

Dissertation - eughhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am getting there. Sloooowwlyyy!!!! I said to Katie earlier that my email signature should now read : Lucie - Expert in pain. She told me that sounds like a wrestlers tagline.

I saw this picture and it felt kinda apt.

xx

Dissertation

I am writing about the conscious decisions made by people when experiencing pain in regards to continuing participation. A particular theme became apparent in that for people to continue whilst under pain, the concept of 'activity pacing' occurred naturally. However, for this to work, people had to be ready to accept changes to their life and their routine, e.g. slowing down, accepting help or adopting new values.  This can be explained by Prochaska and DiClemente's 1983  Transtheoretical model of health behaviour change, which I wrote a post about as a revision exercise for myself, (coincidently, I am currently getting lots of hits on it, which I assume is from second year OT students - which is why during my thought process I connected the two!!)

#OTGEEK.

xx